Remarks of Remembrance, skillfully done, will focus on the deceased and then give us hope or project us into the future. Remarks of Remembrance, again, if well prepared, will not be emotionally engaging, but with the power of God at work, bring about transformation in the grieving process.
The presider must know what will be given during these remarks. Since it is within the Eucharist, the presider has to be aware of what will be said and how it is said during the Eucharistic ritual. Remarks of Remembrance are not meant to allow anyone to “preach” in a church. Therefore, the Remarks of Remembrance must be explained in planning the liturgy with the family. The family should be reminded that what is said should be Christ-centered, and the remarks said to engage how the person lived their Christian faith. The remarks should enhance the liturgy and not detract from the ritual. All should be liturgically and ritually proper. The family and friends have a right to expect personal and relevant elements of the liturgy to reflect the deceased's life and be integrated into the paschal mystery. The presider has a right to know and give guidelines for the Remarks of Remembrance.
Guidelines for Remarks for Remembrance:
The presider must also be aware of cultural differences in the grieving of one’s deceased. Sensitivity and respect are of the utmost concern for family and friends.
(from the Archdiocese of St. Louis, edited)